The Big Announcement

For the last several months, the blog has been eerily quiet.  Much of that time has been spent working on a project.  That project has now been completed and I am thrilled to announce the publication of my memoir, Half the Man I Used to Be: My Yearlong Journey to Stronger Faith and Better Health.  Many of you have followed my health concerns over the past eighteen months and this book recounts my struggle to overcome my declining health and my pursuit to live a healthier, and consequently happier, life.   I have faced the challenges of being severely overweight and I have overcome those challenges by placing them in the hands of a loving, caring Father.  If you face the same challenges, don’t be afraid and don’t give in to defeat.  You can overcome.  If was able to do this, then surely anybody can.  And the best part is that you don’t have to do it alone.  Let go and let God.  I used to think those were just words to make people feel better, but they can be so much more if you let them.  

 For now, the book is only available on the publisher’s website, iUniverse.  If anyone is interested in a copy, you can access the book in paperback, hardcover, or ebook at the following website: http://bookstore.iuniverse.com/Products/SKU-000648807/Half-the-Man-I-Used-to-Be.aspx.  The book should be available at places like Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and other retailers within the next 4-6 weeks.  As a preview, I have included an excerpt from the first chapter on the blog.  Hope you enjoy and please share with all your friends and family.    

Chapter 1

The Man-Mogram

Randy Travis sang in the classic country song “1982,” “They say hindsight’s 20/20 but I’m nearly going blind.”  When you think about it, that makes a lot of sense.  Looking back on things, we can see them clearly but often if it is unpleasant, we choose to still not see it for what it is.  Most of us have been through something we would rather not look back on with the clarity that time and distance give us so we choose to remember it the way that makes us feel the most comfortable.  This, of course, is usually not a great idea.

            My eye-opener came in the spring of 2012, and looking back, I should have recognized it for that instead of treating it as no big deal.  I am usually pretty good at dealing with things and accepting difficulties that life throws my way.  But we all have times when, in retrospect, we would have done things differently.  I believe the Lord was trying to tell me something that spring, but I chose to look at it blindly instead of realistically, and several months later my whole world almost came crashing down on me.  It went a little something like this.

            One day when I was coming home from educating the youth at the juvenile detention facility where I teach, I noticed the seatbelt was rubbing across my right nipple and it was rather painful.  I thought maybe one of my three rambunctious kids had hit me there by accident and left a bruise in that sensitive area.  When I got home and started feeling around, I discovered a knot right under the skin by the nipple.  Needless to say, I freaked out.  The knot wasn’t excruciating but it was painful and uncomfortable to touch.  So I did what any guy who loves and respects his wife utterly and completely would do: I didn’t tell her about it for nearly a month.  I figured it would clear up sooner or later.

            Naturally, it didn’t happen that way and eventually I broke down and told my wife, Kristy, what was happening.  By this time I was really starting to get paranoid.  There was so much in the news about men getting breast cancer and I was greatly concerned.  I did not have a doctor at the time; the one I had been seeing was no longer in private practice.  Kristy called her doctor to get me an appointment … but they could not see me until October.  She went ahead and made the appointment so I could get in with her doctor, but my lumpy nipple hurt, and I wasn’t going to wait almost six months to get it checked out.  That’s when things began to get weird.

            Kristy has a friend who is a gynecologist, and she called to ask his opinion about what I needed to do.  He told her, “Tell Brian to come by the office tomorrow, and I’ll check him out.  Tell him to tell the receptionist that he is here to see me, and that I know what it’s about.”  I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking the same thing: How can this NOT go wrong?  It had disaster written all over it.

            I showed up at his office the following day, and to say I was hesitant about stepping inside the doors would be an understatement akin to saying the Titanic had a slight mishap in the Atlantic Ocean.  I was completely and utterly freaked out and my mind was not put at ease when I entered the waiting room.  I looked around and there were at least half a dozen elderly ladies waiting patiently to be seen by the doctor.  I walked up to the receptionist and said, “I’m Brian Gross.  I’m here to see the doctor.  He knows what it’s about.”  She looked at me, clearly puzzled, but then said, “OK.”  I wondered how many other guys had come in and said the same thing.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long before the good doctor came to get me because one can only stare at a floor for so long. 

            Unfortunately, being ushered back to the exam room did nothing to allay the hurricane of nerves I had swirling in my stomach.  The doctor grabbed me by the elbow and almost started running down the hallway.  I had the impression he really didn’t want anyone to see him with me.  The whole time he was muttering something incomprehensible to himself before saying, “Come on.”  When he finally got me into an exam room, he decided it was not the right place, and we then went in search of another room and found one: a storage room/broom closet.  Actually, it had been an examination room at one time but was now the catch-all for things that weren’t currently being used.  Before rushing out of the room, he looked at me and said, “Take your shirt off.”    When he was in the hall, I overheard him tell a nurse, “There’s a man in this room.  Don’t let anyone else go in there.” 

            The wait seemed to last forever and it was pretty cold in the room.  It struck me as a little strange that he had instructed no one to come into the room, but it also helped to calm my nerves for a few minutes as I stared at myself in the large mirror that was directly across from the chair in which I was sitting.  There are many thoughts that rush through the mind of a nearly 400-pound, topless man as he sits in solitude, ogling himself in a large mirror.  One of those thoughts was, I’m glad he told the nurse to not let anyone come in here. 

            Of course, someone didn’t get the memo, and the look on the poor lady’s face when she walked into the supply room and saw me sitting there bare-chested was beyond compare.  I guarantee that a very large, half-naked man was the last thing she was expecting to see at work that day.  She didn’t know what to say and neither did I, so we just looked at each other for a few seconds, and then she mumbled something, grabbed what she was looking for and made a beeline for the door.  I was wishing I could do the same thing.  As she closed the door, I could hear her as she asked someone, “What is that man doing here?”  The nurse who epically failed to keep anyone out replied, “He’s here to see the doctor.  No one was supposed to go in there.”

            From that point on I was taking no chances.  I put my shirt back on while the storm in the pit of my stomach continued to rage.  Shortly thereafter the doctor came back in and looked at me with an odd expression.  He said, “I thought I told you to take your shirt off.”  Then he thought for a second and followed that up with, “Oh, yeah … the nurse.  OK, just pull your shirt up.”  He felt around my right breast for a few minutes, found the nodule, and asked some cursory questions.  Upon completing the examination, he said, “I’m pretty sure the lump isn’t serious.  Losing weight will probably take care of it.”  I couldn’t keep myself from thinking, I’ve dodged another bullet.  I was abruptly brought out of my reverie, however, when he went on to tell me, “But just to make sure I want to get that checked out at the imaging center.  Let’s go up to the front desk so we can get you an appointment for a mammogram.”

            My mind started racing, and I wasn’t so sure I heard him correctly.  He assured me it was only to confirm the lump was what he thought it was and not something significant.  He paraded me up to the receptionist I had spoken to earlier, and he said loud enough for the people in the building across the street to hear, “Call imaging and get this man scheduled for a mammogram.”  OK, so his volume was not quite that loud, but he was no longer acting as if this were some kind of clandestine mission, perhaps because the cover had been blown by the unsuspecting nurse. 

            As I was leaving the office, relief washed over me.  I was glad to be getting out of that bizarre situation, and I was hanging onto the fact that he was reasonably sure it was nothing serious.  I was a little freaked out by needing to have a mammogram, but the whole situation was beginning to get funnier.  Being the self-deprecating soul I am, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself, When a man has a mammogram, is the proper term for it a man-mogram?  The thought made me chuckle at the humiliation I had just subjected myself to and made me wonder what would be in store for me when I actually had my man-mogram.  

Miracles Come in All Sizes

I have always believed in God.  I have often felt the presence of God in my life.  Sometimes it is easier to recognize God’s presence than others.  Obviously, on the days my children were born, I felt God’s presence in my life intensely.  I could also feel the same unmistakable presence as I was coming up out of the water in Panbowl Lake on the day that I was baptized.  Other times, that presence has been more subtle but no less reassuring.  But last Friday night, I had an experience that I had never had before.  Not only did I feel the presence of God, I felt the physical touch of God.  Some of you may dismiss what I am about to tell you and that is fine; you have the right to do so.  But I know what I felt and the only way I can explain it is the Holy Spirit lifted me up and kept me running.
                                                                                            
Last Friday evening, I ran my third 5K.  It didn’t start until 9:30 that night so I was curious to see how my body would respond to running so late after working all day then spending several hours at home.  Normally, I do my running on the treadmill as soon as I get home from work.  If I run on Saturdays, I usually run as soon as I get up in the morning.  Knowing my routine, I was pretty sure this race was going to present a challenge for me and I was not wrong.

I started the race at a good pace and was feeling really good about the way things were going.  More people had signed up for the race than I had anticipated but I knew I was not competing against them because I had my own goals already established.  As usual, I didn’t want to finish last and I wanted to be able to run the entire race without walking.  The biggest goal for me, though, was to finish the race in less than 40:00 minutes, which meant I would need to cut off nearly 1:20 from my previous 5K in June.

The course was three laps and after running the first lap, I was feeling really good about things.  I glanced at the timer at the start/finish line and could tell that my time was under 13:00 for the first lap.  The second lap was becoming more of a struggle and I could feel my legs starting to get tired about halfway through the lap.  I muttered a prayer asking God to keep me going as long as he possibly could.  I really didn’t want to have to walk  but my legs were beginning to feel a little rubbery.  The clock was just under 26:00 as I started my third lap.

My struggle intensified and I knew that it would take a miracle to complete the race without walking.  And that is exactly what happened.  About 1/3 of the way through the final lap, my legs sent a message to my brain that they were done.  Finished.  Not able to run another step.  I could feel my legs going from a trot to a walk and there was nothing I could do about it.  But God could.  I was trying to prepare myself to mentally finish the rest of the race despite taking a few seconds to walk when I felt something wash over the lower part of my body.  For three steps, it was as if I were walking on air.  I literally did not feel the ground for three steps.  I wasn’t numb because I could feel a presence touching my legs and then I started to run a little faster.   I was renewed and was able to finish the race strongly with a time of 39:23.  If I had slowed down and walked like my body had wanted to, I would not have reached my goal of finishing in under 40:00.

Now, by calling this a miracle I am in no way comparing it to Jesus turning the water into wine or to feeding the masses with just a few fish and a few loaves of bread.  I am certainly not comparing it to healing the blind, raising people from the dead, casting out demons, or conquering death and washing away our sins.  But in my opinion, it definitely qualified as a small miracle.  Matthew 21:22 tells us, "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."  I prayed and I received.  Acts 1:8 says, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witness...to the end of the world".  I can attest to feeling the power so now I am fulfilling my obligation to witness. 

Like I said earlier, I had felt the presence of the Holy Spirit many times, but actually feeling the touch of the Spirit is indescribable.  I know it was just a little 5K in Ashland, KY on a Friday night but God saw fit to let me know that he was with me that night and that he has been with me since I started this journey 10 months ago.  In October, I was facing the most daunting challenge I had ever been faced with.  It was literally a matter of life and death.  I chose to fight for life and God has been with me every step of the way and for that I am eternally thankful.  I could try to find the proper words to express my gratitude but Psalm 28:7 sums it up best: "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."  Until next time, keep the faith good people.  I know I certainly will. 

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

I am approaching the five month mark of living a healthier lifestyle.  I must admit that to this point, it has been remarkably easier than I anticipated.  I guess having your back to a wall has a way of doing that to you.  I am now down 63 pounds and have gotten on the treadmill four times a week for the past eight weeks.  As a matter of fact, I have gotten so used to doing the treadmill that I actually make plans around my exercise instead of making excuses to not do it.  I never thought I would see the day come when I would get cranky because I had not had my cardio for the day.  I guess investing in a treadmill last summer, even though it was barely used for several months, was worth the cost after all.

Over the course of the last month, people have really begun noticing the transformation that my body is undergoing.  I have had countless people make comments about my weight loss and several who continually ask me about my progress.  I have to confess, it feels amazing that people have noticed and are taking an interest in how I am doing.  Many have even offered words of encouragement and admiration for what I have been able to do thus far.  While I have spent most of my life trying to not really be noticed and keeping personal details personal, I have found that being open and discussing what I am going through to be cathartic and necessary to being successful in reaching my goals.  After all, if people are taking enough interest to notice how  I am changing my body, the least I can do is be open about things.

Perhaps the question that is most often asked of me nowadays is, "How are you doing it?" (One person asked me, "So, what's your secret?"  I resisted the urge to say, "Diabetes.  It's worked wonders for me.")  I always tell them that the answer is simple: I am eating more nutritiously and exercising regularly.  I know that doesn't sound flashy but it's true.  But after being asked that question again a few days ago, I began to think about how I had actually done it.  The answer I had been giving was true but, honestly, there is more to it than that.  When I say diet and exercise, I am leaving out the most important part: God.  If not for Him, none of this would be possible.  So, upon further reflection of how God has guided me through this time, I have pinpointed several keys to what has allowed me to be successful in restoring my body and rebuilding my relationship with God.

1)  Faith: This is where it all starts for me.  While I have always had faith in the Holy Trinity, I had gotten to a point in my life where I was relying more on myself than I was on the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  When you trust yourself more than the Trinity, that's when you get yourself in trouble.  After getting the dickens scared out of me in October, my eyes were quickly opened and I knew immediately where I needed to put my faith if I was going to be successful in changing my life.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 17:20, "I tell you the truth, if your faith is a big as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move.  All things will be possible for you".  I needed to move a mountain, or (more aptly) remove  a mountain of weight from the frame of my body, and I knew I could not do it alone.  I chatted with God about getting that done and we have been in constant communication since.  If you are looking for a place to start, try renewing your faith in the King of Kings.

2) Attitude:  If you are to be successful in anything you do, you must have a positive attitude.  A colleague of mine often tells his students and players, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right either way".  That makes a lot of sense to me.  If you expect to fail, you will.  If you expect to succeed, you will do that to.  So, I approach every day determined to be successful.  I don't just sit around waiting for things to happen; I make them happen.  Luke 12:35 tells us to "be dressed, ready for service and keep your lamps burning" and that is exactly how I have approached my situation.  I feel that God has plans for me and in order for those plans to be carried out I need to stay positive and keep the determination to follow God where He leads me. 

3) Desire: In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry encounters a unique mirror that lets him see his family who had been killed years earlier.  Harry continues to sneak around to get a peek at the mirror whenever possible.  Eventually Professor Dumbledore tells Harry about why everyone who looks into the mirror sees something different.  He tells Harry, "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts."  After getting my wakeup call in the fall, I took a look into my own personal Mirror of Erised and saw that I wanted to be around for Kristy, Brayden, Laura-Rae, and Spencer for as long as I possibly could.  I want to celebrate milestone anniversaries and birthdays and get to know my grandchildren someday.  This was not going to be possible going down the road the I had been travelling.  So now I am travelling a much better road.  Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires."  That sounds pretty good to me so that is what I intend to do. 

4) Ownership: I have taken ownership of the problem at hand because you can't resolve problems if you aren't willing to admit that you have them or admit your fault in having them.  I knew I had a genetic predisposition to be diabetic but I had taken that too lightly for too long.  No one to blame but myself.  1 Timothy 5:8 sums it up pretty well.  "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."  I don't want to be worse than an unbeliever but I do want to provide for my family so that means I must take ownership of the problem and takes steps to correct it and I have.  Going through life ignoring your problems and pretending they don't exist is not a solution, and to me it's not an option.  Own them, solve them, praise the Lord, and move on.  Simple as that. 

These keys have proven to be life changing for me and I would recommend anyone who is facing a similar issue follow them.  What do you have to lose?  Me, I had a lot to lose if I didn't change and I'll bet that you do too.  Recently, I read a book on desire by John Eldredge* and in it he says, "Life is not a problem to be solved; it is an adventure to be lived."  I reflected upon that statement and my life.  Too often when we face problems, we let them dominate our lives.  It's easy to do.  But what we really need to do is view them as bumps on the road of the journey we are on.  Sometimes we may have to take the long way around when we wanted to take the short cut, but the classic Robert Frost** poem puts that in perspective for us:

  "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

*Desire: The Journey We Must Take to Find the Life God Offers by John Eldredge

**The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Sometimes Not Reaching a Goal Does Not Mean You Failed

Yesterday was the day I had been waiting for since finding out that I had diabetes.  It was my first 3-month follow up to see how much progress I had made.  I had set my goal for weight loss at 50 lbs, a goal I was not sure was actually attainable.  But as of two weeks ago, I would have bet a large sum that there was no way I would fall short of that goal.  I was down 48 lbs at that time figured losing two more pounds in two weeks would be a lock.  Well, despite more exercise and better eating habits, I hit the proverbial wall and only lost one more pound over that time bringing my total to 49.  I was a little disappointed but I was able to recognize the fact that there are some times when just because you do not reach a goal, it does not mean that you failed.  I was 98% of the way to reaching my goal but the fact that I dropped nearly 50 lbs in three months is astounding and has done wonders for my body.  The proof of what the weight loss has done for me is in the sugar-free pudding.

This trip to the doctor was immensely better than the last few times I had been.  My doctor summed it up best when she said, "It always more enjoyable when you get good news from the doctor."  Amen to that, sister.  Now for the results.  My liver function has improved greatly.  There are two levels they measure and both need to be below 40.  I dropped one from the high 70s to the low 30s and the other from the 140 range to 47, nearly within acceptable range.  My sugar was 115, cut nearly in half, and as result I only have to take my Metformin pill once a day now instead of twice.  One of the best results, however, was my A1C hemoglobin test.  I don't know all the particulars of this test but it gives a 3-4 month measure of the sugar level in your hemoglobin.  If your number is over 6.5, you are diabetic.  In October, mine was 7.9.  Yesterday, it was 5.8, just 0.2 away from being back in the normal range.  The best news, though, was that she said when I lose 15 more pounds I can quit taking the Metformin altogether and see how my body responds to that.  Things are definitely looking better than they did three months ago.

As always, I know who has helped me achieve these results and I am entirely grateful for the presence of Jesus Christ in my life.  After giving my post holiday update a few weeks ago, a friend sent me a few tweets with Bible verses in them.  One was James 1:6 and the other was Matthew 7:7-11.  Both scriptures center on not being afraid to ask God for guidance.  It is hard to receive things if you do not ask for them.  When I came home from my doctor's visit on October 10, I did a lot of praying and asking and I have received.  But, I did not sit around and just expect things to happen without putting in the work myself.  The Lord was not going to magically wave a wand and allow me to instantly start dropping weight and lower my numbers while I ate whatever I wanted to stuff into my face.  That's not how it works.  He helped me to gain the strength and focus to put the work in to get the results I needed and even though I came up one pound shy of my goal, I have not failed.

As for goals, I have a new goal set for the 3-month follow up and one for the rest of the year.  By the time I go back to the doctor in late April, I want to be down another 25 lbs.  As for the year long goal, I want to walk 365 miles on the treadmill this year and burn 35,000 calories while doing so.  Over the past two weeks, I have been able to walk nearly 17 miles while burning 1800 calories.  To put that in perspective, if I achieve this goal, the distance I have walked on the treadmill would be equivalent to walking from by house in Russell, KY to my brother's house in Sweetwater, TN and then walk from his house back to Knoxville.  As for burning that many calories, it would be the equivalent of burning off two weeks' worth of meals.  While those goals seem lofty at first glance, I feel like there is no way that I will fall short of them.  Unlike with the weight loss, which you can only control to an extent, I can totally control how I often I exercise and for how long I do it.  Besides, Philippians 4:13 tells us, "I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength."  So, phase one of my temple restoration is nearly complete and I encourage any who read this to follow suit.  It is never too late to do good for yourself or God.  Until next time, thanks for reading and God bless!

Driven by Faith and Results

When I found out that I was diabetic and was asked to lose 100 lbs in the middle of October, one of the first thoughts that I had was, How am I going to lose any weight with the holidays coming up?  I mean, there was going to be Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinners, and Christmas.  The task seemed all but impossible in my mind.  But as I have been reminded with my new diagnoses, I know where to turn when things seem impossible.  Luke 1:37 tells us, “For nothing is impossible with God”.  And for that, I am indeed grateful.

I have, at least for the time being, developed a steely resolve that has allowed me to be extremely judicious about what I put into my body.  I am very focused on what I eat and what I choose not to eat.  I have been able to pick my battles and know when to walk away from something.  I have become so comfortable with my daily diet that I eat whatever I want, just not always when I want it or as much as I used to eat of it. 

A perfect example of this new lifestyle I am developing came just last weekend when we were visiting with my in-laws.  My mother-in-law fixed a nice lasagna which in the past was one of my favorite dishes.  I could easily put away three to four normal slices (I would usually just eat two ginormous slices, though) in one sitting; and then punish the leftovers over the next couple of days.  But, lasagna and pasta in general have become my arch-nemesis, especially if it is not wheat pasta.  The lasagna smelled heavenly but my stomach turned as I looked at it setting on the table.  At first, I was not going to eat any of it; I was just going to be content with my salad.  But, my wife, Kristy, talked me into just eating the meat and sauce and removing the noodles from it.  I was glad I did.  Eating the salad and filling of the lasagna with a slice of garlic bread more than satisfied me and I was able to avoid unnecessary carbohydrate intake.

Now, there are days when I see something like the lasagna and I really want to have it but I just have to say no.  I have learned how to be comfortable eating most foods that I used to gorge myself on, even potato chips, but I am not there yet with pasta.  And that’s ok.  The new me can take that in stride because I know I am not alone in dealing with this and in time I will be able to enjoy pasta again, if only on rare occasions. 

Because of the steely resolve I have developed, I have been able to get results much greater than I had anticipated.  I set my first weight loss goal at 50 lbs by the next time I go back to the doctor on January 18.  Well, two weeks shy of that date, my weight loss total stands at 48.  I just need to lose two more pounds in two weeks to attain my first goal.  (And through a minor Christmas miracle, I managed to lose 18 lbs from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, without the benefit of exercise.  Unfortunately, the treadmill occupies the spot reserved for the family Christmas tree so my trusty conveyor has been folded up and shoved aside for the last six weeks.)  Remarkably, it has not been as difficult as I imagined it would be.

Again, through Him all things are possible and for that I am thankful.  I know it sounds cliché but great things can happen when you truly let go and let God instead of trying to do it on your own.  He has placed the right people in my life to help me get through this bump in the road and the results are keeping me motivated. 

Just a few days ago, I decided to try on some old clothes that were in my closet but had not been worn in a few years, or longer.  I was thrilled when some size 42 pants and shorts fit comfortably.  This made me want to try on a pair of shorts that I wore last summer that were size 48.  I was able to slide them on with out unbuttoning, unzipping, or squeezing to get into them.  I smiled as I thought to myself, I may need a new wardrobe this summer. 

All in all, I have decided to look as this whole ordeal as a blessing in disguise.  I lost 70 lbs (80 if you want to count the ten I dropped over spring break in 2009 when I was ravaged with the worst stomach virus I’ve ever encountered) nearly five years ago and was able to maintain for several months.  But I was not able to sustain my progress and began picking up old habits rapidly. 

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 we are told, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”  I was most certainly not treating my body as a temple; I was treating it more like a tenement.  And while I still have a ways to go in renovating it into that temple, I have fully grasped that I owe it to my wife and kids and those who care about me to treat my body as I should and to set an example for my kids as to what God wants us to be like physically.

I monitor my blood sugar, I take my medications, and I am judicious about what I allow myself to eat.  My Lord and Savior has helped narrow my focus and redirect the path of my life and the legacy I leave my kids.  I have complete faith that I will see this through.  I have faced serious challenges in other aspects in my life and I overcame them by becoming more disciplined and focusing on the bigger picture and that is what God has guided me to do this time, as well.  And as long as I have the big picture in my sights, I will not get in God’s way as he works his miracle with me.  Thanks to all read and pray for me and may God truly bless you.

Changing Focus

As many of you have noticed, I have been on hiatus.  Well, what better day to get back in the groove than Thanksgiving.  Nothing gets me excited like stuffing myself to the gills and wallowing in misery the rest of the day.  Of course, that was in years past.  The days of gorging myself and living in gluttony have come to a screeching halt.  As you will notice, the focus of my blog is going to shift slightly.  I am still going to comment on the goings on in the world of sports (I have missed so much in the last six weeks that has been worthy of discussion) but I will also be discussing recent developments in my life and with the holidays upon us I will have some holiday-themed items as well.

As for the days of gorging myself and wallowing in my own gut-busting misery, there is a reason they have ended and I wish it were just because I had finally decided to whip my tail into shape.  The real reason for this lifestyle change is a negative doctor report.  Suffice it to say I have never felt so miserable in my life as I did when I left the doctor's office on the days of October  10 and 18.  By the time it was all over, I had to deal with certain facts that I was not ready to deal with.  I have been diagnosed as a diabetic with high cholesterol and a messed up thyroid.  Not great news but better than the initial thought that I had heart problems according to an EKG that I failed with flying colors.  (Thankfully, after a stress test, we discovered that the ticker was just fine).  My newly discovered ailments left me feeling out of sorts and struggling to grapple with my own mortality.  I was glad that I was not as bad off as originally thought but I still had major issues to face and daunting obstacles ahead. 

It was at this moment that I decided to turn things over to a higher power and pray for my health to improve but more importantly to find the resolve to face the challenges that lay before me.  I have been guilty in the past of not putting God first in my life and only turning to him in times of desperate need.  Well, this was a time of desperation and my daily life was going to have to undergo a major overhaul so what better time to rededicate my spiritual life as well. 

On this day of thanks, I am very thankful for my health and that I was able to discover these problems before they became too serious.  I am proud to say that in the 43 days since I initially went to the doctor, I have now lost 30 pounds.  I hope to be able to lose another 20 before going back to the doctor in January.  I am also pleased to say that after eating my (paltry but satisfying meal, complete with pumpkin pie), my blood sugar checked in at a cool 98, well within the parameters that the diabetic specialist laid out for me.  Today was a great success in my book.

This ordeal, while difficult, has been a great life lesson for me.  I have played with fire for too long when it comes to my eating habits and now it is time to pay the piper.  I know where the responsibility lays for what has happened and I am well prepared to do whatever it takes to take care of myself so that I can be there for my wife and kids.  And when things get tough, I know that I have a Savior that can lighten my load; and for that I am truly thankful.

So, for those of you who look forward to my sports posts, I am not finished opining on the day-to-day of the ball and stick games, but I hope you will stick around to read about other happenings also.  I really enjoy writing and various topics and I appreciate each and everyone who take time out of your days to read about what I see through my four eyes.  God bless you all and take care of yourself at this most wonderful time of the year.